Thursday, May 5, 2011

Give up the Grudge? Never…well maybe for a really good sale.

Hi internetters,

How long can you hold a grudge? I’ve written before about my ability to hold grudges but how long is too long to hold a grudge? And how do you get over or give up a grudge? I have some serious grudge holding skills. I don’t know how they originated or who they came from. As I get older, I find that I am even more intolerant of BS (maybe I’m just becoming more curmudgeonly).  I am however, making more of an effort not to resort to snap judgements. Having The Boy makes me want to be a better person (cliché, I know). I do not want to embarrass him. I also know how hard it is to have someone rely on you 100%. I am the only one in my life that knows how much I can handle so if the laundry piles up sometimes, so be it. I just hate it when people give unwanted advice (i.e. try to tell you what to do) so I’m trying not to do that too much.

Oh, let me rein it back in, tangent over. Back to grudges. If someone has wronged me in some way (real or imagined on my part, but my imaginings are usually correct), I have a really hard time letting go. Here’s an example. I once had an encounter with a rude salesperson at a shoe store. I boycotted that shoe store for 2 years. I was forced to give up the grudge because we were mid-move Baby Daddy “accidentally” put My Box of Shoes in the back of the storage unit, behind and under the furniture and the store was having a 2 for 1 sale. My Box of Shoes was a careful selection from my larger shoe closet that I was to use during the two months that we were between permanent homes. Nothing gets you more than coming home from a long day of work and finding that you do not have any shoes to wear, other that the heels you wore that day. No “shopping shoes” (flats for walking around the mall), no flip flops (what was I supposed to wear when I went to get pedicures?), no wedges, no peep toes, no sandals!!! My hands were tied, or feet were bare in this case, so I had to give up the grudge.

I hold grudges against entire companies and brands if someone, in any way associated with the company or brand, slights me.  I know I need to work on giving up grudges but many  times I’ve gotten over one only to have the same person repeat the crap that causes the grudge in the first place. What’s a mother to do? These days, I just go play with my son. It usually takes some of the sting away and I get too busy mothering to think about silliness. Things that bugged me pre-Boy bug me less now. I definitely live more in flip flops or flat shoes and boots too.  Maybe one day, when I grow up, I can learn to let go.

Hello Pretty. Mama would give up the grudge for you.


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